Smif-N-Wessun

A LONG ROAD TRAVELLED:HOW I BECAME A RAP STAR

gst art hands.jpg

Some things you let go some things you hold on to. 

I have been rapping professionally for over 20 years. Most people know me from Smif N Wessun fame. Others identify me as one of the integral founders of the Bootcamp Clik. In 1993 my partner Tek and myself featured on Blackmoon’s classic debut album Enta Da Stage. Tek and I started running around heavy with Blackmoon’s front man Buckshot (Shorty) soon after their first release of Who Got The Props.

Photo By Sun Bronx

Photo By Sun Bronx

I established a relationship with Buckshot prior to this through his sister Tracey. At the time their first single dropped and the video was released I was working at Coney Island Hospital. Also I was homeless. My mother my brothers and myself were evicted from our East Flatbush private home apartment. We didn’t really have anywere to stay. My Aunties lived in Sethlow Houses but they had a full house. My Dad still resided in Sethlow as well but no one wanted to be there because he was often deemed the bad guy. When my moms left my father we went with moms.

I dropped out of High School and took a college course. A year later I dropped out of that then I stumbled upon this program where you go to class in the early part of the day and you worked in the latter part. All this took place at Coney Island Hospital. It was cool because I was gonna get my GED and possibly get a job there if I applied myself. I did apply myself and I achieved both.

It was a bit difficult considering I was living in squalor. I would stay with friends, family, random women sometimes I slept outside or didn’t sleep at all. Other times I would sleep in the locker room at work. I got caught doing that and was extremely embarrassed. One of my co-workers was standing next to me one day and she said “Darrell is that you?”. Since I didn’t have a home I was unable to take showers as often as I would have liked to so at times I had a foul body odor.

I was the youngest at my job so I used to get schooled by old heads. My uncle Greg ‘Jocko’ Jackson was a staple at the Hospital. I honestly think he had something to do with me getting the job and I didn’t want to disappoint him.  

gst ans thorn.jpeg

A good friend of mine also attended this program but he didn’t make it thru. He failed the test and he was unable to get a job. We were very close. Prior to the program we were an aspiring rap group. I went by the name Mc Steele and he went by the moniker Don Q. He was the ladies man and also one hell of a deejay. He got it honest from his big brother Sha who would sometimes let him get on the turntables at the local club at the tender age of 8. Don Q (Thorne Pearson) was a hood phenomenon. We made a good pair. 

I structured a crew called M.O.S.T. which stood for Major Organized Sound Troopers. I was always mocking the military minded style. I wish I would have applied that mindset in school. M.O.S.T also stood for Man Of Steele but to me the crew was more important than just one man. 

Rockness Monstah (Heltah Skeltah) was part of this rap crew. We lived in the same project houses Sethlow P’s. Other members were my cousin Supreme and Tek of course who wasn’t into rapping as of yet. Tek wanted to be an engineer. His dad played for a band back in the dayand still sits in till this day so he had a bunch of recording equipment and musical instruments in the basement of their Bed-Stuy home. Unfortunately we were too inexperienced so we got frustrated and left that part alone. Tek and I were P.N.C already. Thick as thieves. We was into mad sh*t but thats another chapter. 

At the time there were a few rap groups throughout Brownsville. I wasn’t into battling but would often get challenged by local rappers. Between Rock and myself not to many could hang with us. Rock was a beast on the mic from day one. He went by the name Bummy Jab or JB Rock. With a guy like him on my side I felt unbeatable mostly because I knew he most certainly was.

My very first rap partner Chase. He was from up the hill on Chauncey St. and hustle was in his DNA. He had a vision to be a famous rap artist some might say he had delusions of grandeur, I say he was a big thinker, a great mind. He was always fly and he was very impressionable. One day he walked by me in the lunchroom and said, “you’re gonna be my rap partner” and proceeded to walk by. This took me by surprise because I didn’t really have a big reputation as a rapper. I may have spit a verse here or there but I didn’t see the vision of becoming a rap artist let alone being famous.

Chase was sick with the verses. I always thought he was way better than me plus he had style while I was still being formed. He convinced me that this would work. He got his uncle Dre to manage us. We did our first videos in the famous Coliseum in Jamaica Queens. The Mighty Shirt Kings had a spot in the Coliseum or Cå’lowwhere they specialized in custom graffiti on all sorts of clothing and they also had the early green screen where you can shoot videos. We did two videos which I am happy to say no longer exist. You will not find any copies of them floating around on the internet. This was the days of VHS and Betamax tapes. The last copy I had got ruined when I spilled juice on it. Needless to say Im glad we did it. The experience was priceless but I looked crazy hahaha. That was in the 80’s so can you imagine? 

I did manage to hold on to a photo we took there. Its one of them pics you get at the carnival. It was the two of us on a magazine cover. At the top it read Success with him holding a bag of prop money and me holding a taped up microphone.

We went by the name of The Dynasty Family because his last name ended with D (Dewberry)  and mines ended with the letter Y (Yates). Chase came up with this name, he was swift with concepts. According to him we were gonna be rich with all kind of matching vehicles. I was intrigued plus I was a young soldier glad to get off the block.

The Dynasty Family was short lived. The money wasn’t coming in as quickly as we had hoped for. We did a talent show at a bar and won $50 but Chase was hardly satisfied. The following week was for the grand prize of $100 and Chase didn’t show. I went on to do the show by myself reciting his lines as well as my own and I won the $100. I admit it was a bit degrading but I was on a path and thought it was best to move forward than to look back. 

I started to hone my skills. I began to read more to increase my knowledge and wordplay but mostly I would stay up late nights listening to pioneers like Red Alert, Mr Magic, Marley Marl, Awesome Two and Hank Love to name a few. You had to stay up late to catch most of these guys and I wanted to keep up with the latest hiphop. 

As I got better the Man Of Steele was born. Dre continued to manage me as a solo artist. The M.O.S.T was formed, that was the crew. I did a few talent shows and variety shows which were filmed mostly at BCAT or MNN. I also appeared as a guest on Bobby Simmons (Stetsasonic) video show a few times. I had a video out that Dre paid for out his pocket. Our song consisted of samples from “And The Beat Goes On” by The Whispers blended with The Big Beat” by Billy Squier, which Don Q (Thorne Pearson) created. The name of the song was “Steele Moving Strong”.

Through making frequent appearances at this one particular variety show called The Ron Alexander Show, Dre was able to secure me a record deal. I was excited but I had never seen a contract so I wanted to be careful. Dre was new at this too. He was a good guy but a novice manager but he too possessed that hustle mentality. He did a great job but we had no legal representation. We didn’t really know what we were doing but that didn’t stop us from moving forward besides it was only one song and it was gonna be on a compilation so how bad could it be we thought. 

I was attending night school at George Washington High School in Brooklyn where I met Tracey, the sister of Kenyatta pka Buckshot. She and I both sat in the back of the class obviously uninterested. One day she said, “Was that you rapping on tv?”. I think I might have replied, “no” but Im not sure. Needless to say we became good friends. Tracey mentioned that she likes to dance and at the time I wanted to add dancers to my show. She was down to do it but she always mentioned how her brother was way better than her. She would say, ”you got to meet my brother and his partner”. Then she would talk about all the dynamic dance moves they would perform. 

Dre was able to secure a show at the World Famous Apollo Theatre in Harlem NY. Wow! I was gonna be on Showtime At The Apollo.This was big time the big screen I used to watch this show all the time on my 13” television. I had to do this right. We rehearsed for days in Dre’s mother’s basement. It had wall to wall mirrors top to bottom so we could see how we looked. The dancers were on point but Tracey was adamant about getting her brother and his friend to perform with us. I wasn’t against it but they hadn’t rehearsed with us and we needed this show to be tight. I agreed to it besides I was anxious to meet this dynamic duo.

The day of the show at the Apollo we were ready. I had constructed a game plan that would incorporate Kenyatta and his partner Kasim perfectly. They went by the names KB1 and KB2. They were practicing their routine while the rest of us sat in the green room. The strategy was to have them open up the show then we would come out right behind them with the song and the girl dancers. The show was a hit but it never made it to the big tv screen.They also had talent shows that were not filmed for television. I was a bit disappointed but I just rocked the Apollo, this was a big accomplishment.

When I got the contract I asked Tracey if she thought I could get Kenyatta to take a look at it. I went to see him and gave him the contract. The first thing he said was, “first of all, this is too many pages”. I laughed while thinking howingenious he was as we combed through the lengthy document laden with rhetoric and jargon. Im not sure if he truly understood it in toll but his input was priceless. Needless to say eagerness and curiosity amongst other things led me to sign the contract. I never got any money from the deal but I did quite a few shows one of which was on the same stage with the legendary KRS ONE. Money still wasn’t coming in and I was messing up in school not due to rapping but poor decision making. I was smart I just didn’t go and I paid for it dearly but in the end it all worked out. 

My failure to excel in school led me to be left behind while all my friends graduated on time. I decided to get my act together which eventually led me to the program in Coney Island Hospital. 

Black Moon - Buckshot Shorty, DJ Evil D, 5FT

Black Moon - Buckshot Shorty, DJ Evil D, 5FT

While I was working at the hospital Kenyatta continued to pursue his music career. He and his partner linked up with the the legendary Evil Dee and Mr Walt of Da Beatminerz who were doing all the production for the group which became known to us as Blackmoon. Evil Dee was the deejay while Kenyatta was now going by Buckshot Shorty and Kasim transformed to 5FT or The 5 Foot Accelerator. I began to attend shows with them as part of the entourage. I was still homeless so I began to spend more time on Franklin Ave where Buck lived. We would stay outside talking and building all night literally to the break of dawn. This would later create a conflict at my job. Buckshot and I began to create a stronger bond so I knew it was time for him to meet my PNC Tek. 

One day Blackmoon performed live on HBO for a Rosie Perez special. When i saw the special I was ecstatic especially when I saw Tek on stage passing out 8”x10” photos of the group. “Damn! I should be there with them”, I blurted aloud as if someone was in the room with me. By this time Tek and I had been up to the record label (Nervous Records) and had met then intern and everything man Andrew Freidman aka Dru Ha. After seeing this special I expressed to Dru Ha that I had to quit this job and I refused to miss any more shows. Dru simply said, “don’t quit your job, its to soon yet”. 

I didn’t know sh*t about unemployment nor did I care. I told him if I don’t quit they’re going to fire me anyway. He was honest with me. There were no expectations, this was going be a challenge and success was not guaranteed . I wasn’t worried because I believed in these guys. I knew where Tek heart was at and Buckshot was an immensely focused visionary while Dru was the responsible voice of reason that helped keep everything together. There was no talk of matching luxury cars or anything of that nature but we were on a path where all this could be possible if you apply yourself. We all applied ourselves and eventually all had matching luxury cars. 

Before we got to the cars the path was rigid as there were many obstacles but it did not deter any of us it only enhanced our bond. Blackmoon was being managed by the legendary Chuck Chill Out. Soon after that relationship was dissolved and Dru began to perform the duty of manager along with his other responsibilities. He and Buck created an incredible bond that would later become DuckDown Management and even later DuckDown Records currently DuckDown Music.

Wreck Records_Smif N Wessun.jpg

Under DuckDown Management Dru and Buckshot secured us a deal with their home label Nervous Records which was mainly known for house music. When Blackmoon and Smif N Wessun came on board we changed the game for Nervous records even changed the name and added a hip hop sub-division called Wreck Records. 

In 1993 my partner Tek and myself was featured on Blackmoon’s classic debut album Enta Da Stage. In 1994 using the pseudonym Smif N Wessun Tek and I released our debut single Bucktown”  . In January 1995 we released our debut album “Dah Shinin” and in January 2015 we celebrated the 20th year anniversary of “Dah Shinin”.

Black Moon Cover.jpg
Smif N Wessun Cover.jpeg

I have been rapping professionally for over 20 years. Most people know me from Smif N Wessun fame. Others identify me as one of the integral founders of the Bootcamp Clik and some never heard of me at all. Either way it has been one hell of a ride filled with ups and downs, twists, turns, failures, successes, gains, losses, blood sweat and tears. In this timespan I have written and performed on five albums and one ep as Smif N Wessun, four albums with the Bootcamp Clik, a few compilations, mixtapes, Soundtracks and countless guest appearances.

In 2000 I started the multi media company Bucktown Usa Entertainment (BTU ENT.) with Cynical Smith. We released two albums with Duckdown Records, a General Steele solo lp titled Amerikkkas Nightmare Part 2 and compilation entitled Welcome To Bucktown. In addition to that I helped develop a few artist which all had releases on BTU ENT. 

Welcome To Bucktown_General Steele.jpg
Amerikkkas Nightmare_General Steele.jpg

I have been grinding in this hiphop field for almost thirty years and I am grateful for every experience the good and the bad. There are a few things I wish I could do over but the path has been designated by a power higher than me. I have learned much more than I ever imagined yet there is so much more to explore. 

I have just about come to the end of this chapter in my life and its about time to move on. There are a few things I would still like to accomplish in this game but a part of me has lost the love I once had. They say, “If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be, if not….” you know the rest.

Some things you hold on to some things you let go of. 

Thanks to all my fans, family, friends and all those who helped me be who I have become and for supporting the movement.

I love y’all

God Bless

General Steele points.jpg

 

 

IS BOOTCAMP CLIK DEAD?

A few weeks ago, I tweeted, “When Sean Price died, the Bootcamp died”, which happens to be a line quoted from a new song off Rockness Monstahs' forthcoming LP. Needless to say my tweet was not received well. Many die hard fans were disturbed by this as was several family members and friends alike. I got calls, texts and direct messages from people expressing their concern. “Was this real ?, could this be true?, what did you mean?, are you okay?, do you need to talk?, etc. Some even asked if this was some sort of publicity stunt to get attention and gain followers.

I understand. I felt the same way when The Fat Boys broke up and when Grand Puba left Masters Of The Ceremony, especially when EPMD split and when De La proclaimed, "De La Soul is Dead". Or when Jay Z announced his retirement right before changing the game with one of his most critically acclaimed projects, Reasonable Doubt, not to mention when Wutang Clan and A Tribe Called Quest were going thru their rough patches. Let's not forget when Nas boldly declared, "Hip Hop Is Dead!" 

There are so many others, I have to save that for another blog, but to put things in perspective, I respect the growth and maturity of all of these individuals and also recognize the courage it takes to admit when things are not working how they used to or perhaps we have just grown up and sometimes even apart. 

Some are able to take this lesson and move on, move up and out to higher plateaus and broader plains, while others become defeated and creatively DEAD.

I think back to when Ruck began to re-brand himself as "himself", Sean Price. He tested it out on us, his friends and family. It was subtle as he didn’t seem 100% sure at first but his courage was admirable and I think being real or should I say brutally honest with himself was strikingly magnetizing and we all became his test lab audience.

We were on a road trip and Ruck had this one song he kept playing over and over, where he just spit one non stop verse and started using his birth name, Sean Price,  starting and ending the song in his now infamous chant, P! Up until then he was just Big Ruck or Ruckus other pseudonyms include The Inflicksta, Ruck The Irrational and The Wanderer. 

We were all intrigued and entertained which was common when dealing with Sean. He was always the way he was and he was one of the Bootcamp members to say, “fck that, watch what I do”.

Sht wasn’t always sweet with The Camp. We had to do a lot of work to solidify ourselves in this industry and to stay together as a family. We are a family but we are also business partners and sometimes that can create a conflict of interest. Families fight and it takes much understanding to deal with such a powerful group of talented minds. 

When Black Moon and Smif-N-Wessun were going thru legal troubles, The Fab Five (Heltah Skeltah and OGC) acquired deals with Priority Records which was the start of Duck Down Records. Dru Ha and Buckshot were constantly working their magic. We've had quite a few good relationships throughout the industry, many of which we still have to this day, it was an interesting ride, a lot of work, a lot of work.

I'm grateful I went thru it with these guys. We've had some rough times and made some stupid decisions on our part but such is the path of growth and maturity. Needless to say I got a cache of wealth of knowledge from this experience. 

We were brothers before we were a band of brothers. I think that helped us stay together longer. We made music, made money and traveled the world together.

We made HISTORY.

When Sean recorded Monkey Bars he was letting us know that he wasn’t waiting for anyone to do what he needed to do. Many of us Bootcampions were going thru some sort of something and all we could do was spectate as Sean blasted pass the finish line. He wanted to win like it was his last race. The rest of us were caught up in the street or office politics, family matters, you name it. 

Sean has a line where he says, “drunk rappers need to grab up a pen, write some ill sht ngga and let the madness began”, I’m sure that he was talking about me, lol. 

We were all at 9th Wonders' spot. Tek and I were there for the first time whereas Sean had been there before so he knew these guys. Needless to say I was drinking Gin with Joe Scudda, Tek was playing Madden but Sean was not in play mode at all, at least not till his work was done. Dru even took a sec to remind me about sticking to the mission at hand. This sparked The Triple Threat campaign.

Bootcamp has always been a brotherhood. Some brothers are more influential and outspoken than others, Sean was clearly one of them. 

He set the tone for a lot of sht and although he was fun to be around in the studio, he was about that business, family and music alike and didn't mind whooping yo ass if need be. 

We all played an intricate role but Sean was an outstanding character that became determined to be successful and carry the responsibility as one of the fathers of the BootCamp Clik. He would say things like, “Sean Price the leader of Bootcamp Clik now”, or “No disrespect to Duck Down Records, after this song I’m looking for the exit”, even to the point of pursuing his inbred label brand RuckDown Records

This all seemed funny but Sean was far from joking. He had a special sense of humor. He is to the Camp what Richard Pryor is to comedy, the self proclaimed David ruffin of rap.

Sean is one of the pillars of The BootCamp Clik, the original starting five. While Black Smif-N-Wessun (Buckshot, Tek and Steele) were out on the road, Ruck and Rock stayed home to train the troops and teach them things we thought were important back then like how to read bars, how to hone your talents and make the dopest sht. This was part of the essence, this was part of the basic training, we preached and practiced three rules: Discpline, Obedience and Patience other lessons were accrued hands on in the streets. 

We shared almost everything, considering that we didn’t have much, our brotherhood made up for what we lacked in material wealth. I was always on my fly Polo wearing sht from High School days in Graphics, some I bought some of which I stole or got on the blackmarket.

Sean and I attended the same High School so we often monitored how fly people dressed. He would later become one of flyest Polo wearing dudes in the rap game even being inducted into infamous LoLife Organization despite being a Decepticon. In High School, some LoLife and Decepticons were known adversaries. Sean was also from Brownsville where many of the original LoLife members are from so he knew the pioneers and they were already cool. 

Sean would be onstage rocking the Polo Flag with the skullcap to match. He would rap lines like, “except Tek none y’all nggas can dress”. Tek was well rounded in fashion. He perfected the Bed Stuy Fly. He knew how to sport high end fashion like it was just some regular sht. Sean and I use to style, meaning we would wear items that would catch the attention. He would always comment when I wore some new Polo to a show, I guess it reminded him of the young Darrell. I think at some point I began to look forward to that friendly competition as it became sort of a brother-hood ritual. He would say, “whats that, Lo?” and I would just give him the look. 

They say steel sharpens steel and in more than many cases it was Sean sharpens Steele and vice versa. This is what BootCamp Clik did for me and the whole brotherhood. We were there for each other when we had nothing. We built an empire from the ground up. We endured many trials and tribulations and now here we are.

This is no publicity stunt, Sean Price is Dead. My brother is no longer here in the physical form and it is a painful reality to accept. I began to express to my brothers that I didn’t want to rap anymore. In all honesty this is something that I have been pondering for sometime before Sean's passing but I will save that for another blog. 

Upon Sean's passing I was emotionally drained. I was angry at all the fake people and the fake love, I was tired of all the bullsht. We busted our ass for this spot, whatever this is. Some call us legends but we’re still right here in the hood with everybody else. Maybe this makes us special or just more vulnerable. Maybe this is why people love Sean. I know why I love Sean and why I love my BootCamp Clik. 

I am forever WWBCC WorldWide BootCamp Clik till I DOA just like Sean Price. The BootCamp Clik is the Great 8 and extended family but Bootcamp is what it always was and what it always will be, a mentality, a commitment to be and do better as an individual and as a collective. This concept will never die. What BCC has produced and released will remain on the timelines of Hip Hop history. 

The BootCamp Clik as you know it, has been transformed into something which I myself, can’t clearly state as of yet. Sean Price is no longer with us.  We are all older and have more responsibilities. Instead of lounging up the hill or on the block, instead of breaking day on Franklin Ave and Union, instead of doing 24 hour cessions in the studio smoking copious amounts of weed, instead of being on the road weeks at a time away from love ones and familiar places, we have succumb to our inherited responsibilities, taking care of the family. This is what grown ups do. 

Sean had no problem expressing his love for his family, namely his wife Bernadette and his children. He inspired men to be men. No we are not perfect but we are men, we are fathers, husbands, brothers and comrades. We are men with faults, fears, hopes and aspirations. I witnessed people gravitate to the realness that was Sean, the realness that sealed the bond of our brotherhood. We were friends until the day he died and till the day we meet again.

Sean Price is one of a kind and irreplaceable. You cannot add another member to the Great 8 to make it whole again. It is what it is. That brotherhood has evolved. We are responsible for ourselves and each other. Most of us have children, extra bills and pay taxes. Most of us are still in the hood. 

Brooklyn has changed, Bucktown has changed, BootCamp Clik has changed. Buckshot once rapped, “change is good”, in a song we did with Aaliyah (RIP) titled Knight Riders. Both of us still struggle with change and loss. We now step into a realm of Bootcamp that we didn’t foresee nor prepare for. As fathers of this brotherhood we are obligated to hold the flag, but what does that really mean? Are the brothers still strong enough to continue the mission? Whom amongst the collective can assume the leadership role as Sean Price did so graciously?

Bootcamp was never about one person but there were times when one had to be stronger for the many and we each had a turn wearing that suit. Maybe this is where we move on. We will always be Bootcamp but The Clik has to evolve in order to preserve the legacy that we sparked when we were whole. We have to be brutally honest like Sean showed us we could be. I would love to hear just one more BootCamp Clik album with Sean but it just wouldn’t be the same. I have to salute guys like the Outlaws, Bun B and Eminem because they were able to go on after losing their comrades. I pray for that strength. 

I know we are all hurting and I know that we all want to do our best, No pain no gain, what we gave to the game that won’t change but in order to sustain we must re-train. Uncover the greatness in ourselves find our personal wealth, expand and grow before we implode, expose your glow and remember BootCamp is more than just 8 nggas at a show.

 

TourLife: Things Passed and Things To Come

Written on April 3, 2016.

As I sit here staring out the window to an open field, I began to reflect on things passed and things to come. I am currently on a musical tour with my teammates and brothers Tek, Logic and Rock. Tek, Logic and myself started in the UK where we would spend the next 6 days, 5 of which we would be performing, dubbing this part of the tour, #SmifnWessunUKTour2016. We would then meet with Rock in France where we would spend the remainder of the tour together, dubbing this part of the tour #BootcampClikEuropeanInvasion.

The first stop was Manchester, U.K. The flight was pleasant not to mention I was still a little saucy from the day before. I cracked a few jokes then pretty much slept the entire flight. When we arrived we were the very last to go through the border patrol, save these two guys who look like they were there since yesterday, other than that we were the last men standing. They had to check our work permits, then we were on our way.

Tek asked the customs agent what the weather was like and he reluctantly replied, “it’s dry”. If anybody is familiar with London then you know it pretty much rains everyday. Upon exiting we met this slim, lanky fella with reddish hair and tones. He approached us calmly and introduced himself. “I’m Tish”, he said. I immediately thought, thats a girls name but I kept it to myself. He asked us how the flight was and we replied, “cool”. 

We’re not really ones for small talk, especially after a long flight. We just wanna get to the hotel, get food and possibly some rest before the show. We were pretty hungry so we went for food at a place called the Glasshouse, located in the hotel. I kept it simple with a beer battered cod fish and fries and a shrimp in garlic sauce appetizer. It was amazing. I then went to my room to prep for tonights show. 

My room was cozy, had a nice decor and a beautiful view of the city. This was in total contrast to where and how I spent my last days prior to coming to the U.K. The view out of my bedroom window is of construction sites with condos being erected for prospective tenants. There are three separate sites directly across the street from me. I witnessed most of the process, from the demolition to the first concrete being set. One of the three is scheduled to be done by the end of 2016 while the other two are scheduled to be done in 2017. 

Manchester, UK

Manchester, UK

Park Slope, Brooklyn

Park Slope, Brooklyn

There is also construction being done in my co-op building as well. We're getting a makeover consisting of new walls, doors and floors. It’s a lot of work not to mention a lot of noise. I was glad to leave that behind and looked forward to the solace of whatever hotel room I would be occupying for the next few weeks. 


When I finally got to my hotel room, I got my gear together then I laid down and went to sleep. About an hour or so later the guys knocked on my door to go to soundcheck. I declined and decided to stay in my room and get some extra rest, I needed to reserve some energy for tonights show and the long trip ahead. The last tour we had, I had a rough time. I lost my voice toward the end and on occasion, battled with fatigue. I was not gonna have that problem this time.

When they came back from soundcheck, Logic gave me the rundown on the venue and what time we were gonna be leaving. He also bought me a plate of some Indian curry chicken and rice platter. I was still full from earlier so I put that aside and went back to rest. 

Tish, the road manager for the UK dates, gave each of us a copy of the itinerary. He also blessed me with a little something extra gaining immediate favor in my eyes (laughs).

He was a younger kid, late twenties, early thirties. He had a calm demeanor and although he lived in Bristol, he didn’t have the heavy English accent. He later revealed that he was born in Canada and even lived in Asia for ten years as a kid. He mentioned that his dad is a Buddhist. I thought this must be the explanation for his balanced demeanor. I initially thought he was just a stoner (laughs). He later proved to be much more.

The first show was at Band On The Wall. When you enter, you have to go through the bar, many of the patrons saw us come in and immediately got excited. We continued to the backstage that was set up for us. I was still a little groggy so I went to the bathroom put some water on my face, poured a shot of Hennessy, “10 minutes”, the stage manager yelled out. 

The show was on and it was intense. The crowd was massive and I was overcome by an immense surge of energy. I didn’t realize what it was until we arrived at the part of our set where we do a dedication to rap artists that passed away, two of which happen to be our beloved brothers, Sean Price and most recently Phife Dawg of A Tribe Called Quest

When Logic put the Tribe song on something hit me right in my chest. It became hard to swallow and I just dropped my hands and head while my body went into a trancelike (head nod), this was followed by Sean Price’s Onion Head and I almost lost it. Phife Dawg passed away only days ago. Prior to the tour, I got a text from my friend Mike informing me of Phife’s untimely death and I was immediately stricken by the news. I remember replying, “c’mon man”, in a text message.  I didn’t want to believe it. Just a few days prior to hearing that news, I learned that a very dear friend of mine had lost his long grueling bout with cancer. 

My friends name is John John or Ginsu to many of us who knew him in the street. Embarrassingly the last time I seen Ginsu was 8 months ago at Sean Price’s funeral service. When I learned of his passing not only did it hit me hard, but it opened up the still fresh wound from the death of Sean Price. Ginsu’s funeral would be held the 22nd of March, the day before we were scheduled to start our tour. 

 

March 22nd was also my god daughter, Mckayla’s birthday. Shaun, the 8 year old daughter of Sean Price, birthday had just passed on the 18th which happens to be one day after her fathers birthday. We had just did a party in New York at The Delancey to celebrate Sean Price’s birthday. It was just a party but many of his friends came out as if to see him perform one last time. 

 

There were artist and family alike. I was glad to see members of our Decepticon family like Raquel, Spanky, Venom, Skywarp and P-Wop just to name a few. These people love Sean and I could sense their emptiness without him being there as I was experiencing it myself. In addition, the news of Ginsu’s death was extremely fresh as it came just the day before. I didn’t want to party but I didn’t want to not celebrate the life of my friend with friends. 

L,R Bo Black, Rudis, Stuck B, Cleqout, Rob, Petro, Giambi, Top Dog

L,R Bo Black, Rudis, Stuck B, Cleqout, Rob, Petro, Giambi, Top Dog

 

I thought I was gonna be able to attend for a short while and leave but I didn’t leave until much later. I had two drinks in the club but I had been drinking earlier in the day in an unwavering attempt to drown my sorrows. By the end of the night, my boy, Louie was wasted (laughs). He forgot where we parked and he needed the entire sidewalk to walk as he zig zagged up the block toward us. I wondered if this is how I look when I’m hammered. 

We headed back to Brooklyn as I peered out to the East River, blanking out the irritating sounds of my drunken friend. Cyn was a little tipsy too as she belted out, “I’m hungry, I’m gonna get some lasagne”, which slowly turned to a melodious jingle. I continued to look out the window reflecting on the nights events as we crossed the bridge. I was attempting to mask my emotions but I am not as good at it as I wanted to be, that night. Needless to say Cyn never got that lasagne as she passed out onto the couch. I cut a small piece of lasagne for myself and ate silently reflecting on the things passed and the things to come


In two days we were scheduled to go to Texas to perform at SXSW music conference which happened to fall on the exact day of Sean Price’s birthday. The plan was to do a tribute to Sean, so, Rockness, Ruste Juxx, Illa Ghee and even Bernadette were all in attendance. It was Bernadette's first time ever getting on an airplane. I may have been more excited than she was. We sat together, joked and laughed the entire flight, probably annoying a few people. 

Although we were in a jovial mood, I think we all were trying to mask how and what we were truly feeling, anger, pain, frustration, to scratch the surface. I was blasting off about irrelevant topics that only I thought was important which in turned annoyed the people I was with.

I still hadn’t seen Tek yet because he was flying in from Virginia. I admit I was a little nervous and tense, but that eased a bit when we got to the venue.

It was huge. Nas was set to be the headliner. We would be sharing the stage with him, Manny Fresh, Just Blaze, Large Professor, Yo Gotti, Dj Khaled, Trae the Truth, Dave East and a host of others. 

It was pretty chaotic as you had security volunteers trying to control the crowds of artist and entourage as they entered and exited the backstage area. They eventually found a room for us by the stage, 10 minutes later it was showtime. I wish we could’ve went over the set again, but it wasn’t time for that, it was time to go to work. 

Rock kicked it off followed by Smif-N-Wessun then Buck with some of the other Duck Down artist weaved in-between. It was a tad bit sloppier than it should’ve been in my opinion but we pulled it together for the finish. I don’t think any of us was our normal selves as I looked at my partners they all looked how I felt, misplaced, emotional and maybe even a little disheveled. We all have been through so much within the last few months not to mention days, which I admit put an emotional strain on me to say the least .

We pulled through the show satisfying the handful of diehard fans scattered amongst the collective. This wasn’t one of our better shows by no means.

When we got off stage we were ushered towards a VIP which was located one floor up. Dru Ha and Noah had purchased this amazing cake to present to Bernadette in addition to a specialized Sean Price box set. 

The plan was to cut the cake in VIP but security gave us such an issue that it was a turn off. When we got to VIP there was no accommodations. It look like where you dump the leftovers. Why are we up here, I thought, why are we being treated like we didn’t just get off that stage. At that moment I see a familiar face in Brainiac Beats. We started to kick it then I started to get restless. I suggested we leave and meet up with Mic Handz. 

Mic Handz invited us to this mini mansion he rented out for the music festival. He also had two events he was running out there. As we were leaving these guys noticed me and began to comment how much they respect Smif-N-Wessun and the Bootcamp Clik. They were a part of the few die hards that were scattered amongst the collective (laughs).

Upon exiting we were shuffled in all different directions by the security volunteers, some of which were rude, others confused, either way we finally made it out to where the crowd was and so started the melee. It was cool because we got to see a few more of the die hards and even take a few pictures with some folks who just enjoyed our performance. It took the sting out of the less responsive people in the crowd.

Tek was riding with some people I never met before as was Rock so it was just Bernadette, Illa Ghee and myself with Tank, the driver while Buckshot went back to the hotel. I had to convince Tank to drop us off at the mansion and stay for a while to secure we had a ride back. He insured me that he would stay for an hour then he had to get back to his young sons. “I can respect that”, I replied. 

The mansion was a nice sized house located in this secluded culdasac, reminiscent of the Hamptons or some exotic places in Florida . It was beautifully peaceful and serene, until we entered the mansion of course (laughs). Mic Handz did his thing this time I thought. Upon entering my eyes went straight to the back patio doors which led to a pool. I was like, “ahhhh shiiiit, Now this is living”. 

There were two women in the kitchen chefing it up, they were part of Handz’s team and they was throwing down. It was assorted bottles of liquor and weed being rolled, this was my kinda scene. It definitely was a nice spread. Handz then gave me the official tour which revealed the true luxury of the dwelling, I was proud that Handz was able to pull this off as I know it was a big move and a great look for him.

Bernadette and Illa ate food while I went out on the patio to smoke. I was too excited to eat. Shortly after, Ruste Juxx arrived followed by Rock. Tek never did show up. We ate food, drank, smoked, talked sh*t, rapped, etc., I honestly did not want to leave to be stuck up in a hotel room watching whatever salvageable programming on the television. Tank had to leave, he went well passed the hour he promised and I was grateful. I was able to finagle a ride back for Bern and I, the rest is a blur.

We had a connecting flight back to NY as opposed to the straight way in which we came and Tek was on a totally different flight. I wasn’t used to that, it felt awkward. He was flying separate from the rest of and he was scheduled to reach Laguardia before us. The rest of us had a five hour layover which meant that we would spend that entire day in transit. Bernadette is flying with us and it just happens to be her daughter, Shaun’s birthday. Unfortunately they would only get to see each other via FaceTime. 


When I got home the whole day was over. I ate some chicken and salad prepared by Cyn, smoked a spliff and had a few shots of cognac. I didn’t even unpack I just sat on the couch reflecting on the events that occurred and the ones that have yet to materialize, the things passed and the things to come.

I wanted to take my god daughter Mckayla to the circus along with Shuan and Elle’vyn, my other god daughter. Unfortunately the circus had left the city so I had to be creative. Cyn informed that she had made plans with Nicole, Mckaylas mom, which was surprisingly short notice for me but there was no other window to see the girls so we decided to have a small gathering for them. I called Bernadette to let her know the plan and bring Shaun over, “we on our way”, she replied. 

 

Each one of these young girls are special in there own right but what they share in common is that they currently lost a major figure in each of their lives, their father. Shaun's dad passed away, whereas the other two girls lost their fathers to the penal system. Both of them are currently serving time in the penitentiary. It was a big strain on me, one I wouldn’t realize until the first day we arrived on UK soil. 

Since the death of Sean I have been angry, sad and a bevy of undesirable emotions. I can only imagine what that little girl must think and feel. I feel selfish to even consider my feelings. Shaun is her fathers daughter, strong yet emotional, a sweetheart to boot. As is Mckayla and Elle’vyn, they are all daddy babies and I hurt for them having to endure this precious time without there heralded champion, DAD. 

So we had a small gathering. Moon brought Elle’vyn and her youngest son Optimus, who is definitely a daddys baby. He doesn’t mess with anybody! (laughs). Bern brought Shaun and Nicole brought the rest of the party, Mckayla, Keefie, the eldest, Brandon, Baby D and King, the baby. It was the first time any of them would meet, this was gonna be special, I thought, but wait what if they don’t like each other, all sorts of thoughts ran thru my head. I can only smile as I think back to that weekend, they had a ball and we didn’t even do anything crazy. It was just family, food and fun. I was in heaven but they was driving me nuts too. Man I had so much fun. I needed that. They were a breathe of fresh air (breathes), a break from the rap monotony. 

 

When the last parent came to get her kids I sat in silence and began to reflect on things passed and things to come, I missed them already. 

Mckayla’s birthday is actually on March 22nd which was the day before we were set to leave for the tour. It was also the day off Ginsu’s funeral service. I was an emotional wreck. I was supposed be preparing to leave for the overseas tour but I had an obligation. I started drinking early that day which basically ended the same way with me passing out somewhere thats not my home. 

I stayed out way to late now I have to scramble to get my things together. Luckily I started picking gear out weeks ago. I made good time. Oh I forgot to mention, the day before, there were terrorist attacks performed in at least two separate places, one being Brussels. I started to get calls from friends expressing their concern. “Y’all not going over there are you”, one of my friends inquired. “Nah we good”, I assured him. 

Tek suggested we leave earlier to anticipate any extra time at security. We actually got through smoothly and arrived promptly at our gate. “Now boarding Delta Flight 420 to Manchester, London ”, It wasn’t a full flight and I had a window seat in the emergency row, talk about a come up (laughs). Anyway, the liquor and my nerves began to settle and I was sleep well before the plane even took off (laughs). I was burnt out and I needed this trip outside the box. Before I passed out I took time to look across the tarmac and began to reflect on things passed and things to come. 

 

By General Tony Steele

4/3/16

 

MY TIME IN EUROPE part1: THE CITY OF MONTREUX

Today is Sunday October 25th. On Thursday the 22nd we flew out to Zurich Switzerland from John F Kennedy Airport for a 2 and half week tour. Tek and I just returned from Europe a few weeks ago but this time we go out with Buckshot. We were on a 2 week run where we visited Barcelona, Madrid and Vitoria which is in Spain. We then moved on to Poland for a week and we finished in London. That run was a little challenging for us as we had to switch up our normal regiment, needless to say we accomplished the mission but not without a few glitches.

I've been looking forward to this trip since the last one partly because the obstacles that we overcame on that particular trip gave me the confidence to take on whatever the next mission would be. To be honest, I was thinking nothing could be worst than what we just went thru but in all fairness, it wasn’t all bad there just were a few turbulent moments.

I made sure to pack all the necessities in advance. I always manage to leave something behind no matter how much I plan ahead. This time was gonna be different so I thought. For the most part I had all angles covered. I was looking forward to performing with Buckshot and Tek and I was anxious to leave New York . I was getting a bit overwhelmed by some of the nonsense that goes on in my day to day and I was in dire need of a break from it all. 

The flight on Delta was great. I pretty much slept thru the majority of it. I missed dinner but I woke up in time for breakfast. The flight time was 7 1/2 hours. I think I slept for about 5 hours. We also had tvs in the headrest so we were able to watch our own personal programming. This was useless to me but I was able to catch a good 40 minutes of AntMan and it was actually pretty good. I have to be honest I don’t think I would’ve seen it otherwise. Im not a real big Antman fan but I love most things Marvel. Its one of the movies you have to watch on a plane. 

The flight was smooth. We arrived and went thru customs without a problem. Our ride was a Suburban which looked like it may have been from 2005 or so . it was a special edition. I have to point this out because the last trip Tek and i was on was a rough one as i mentioned before.

We had a packed flight with no tv and no catering services for 7 1/2 hours, it was atrocious. Guess we can be a bit spoiled but we couldn't predict the lack of hospitality and professionalism not to mention space. We were jammed seat to seat, knee to knee, elbow to elbow. Our current flight on Delta was much better and more accommodating. It wasn’t a full flight so we were able to stretch out even more.

We arrived on time and our ride was on time and they both spoke some english which was fantastic. On the last trip we had a few issues with the language barrier particularly when we arrived in Madrid. Our driver and his partner spoke absolutely no English and we pretty much were dropped at the hotel with little to no information until it was time to go to the venue. 

On our current excursion we were instantly treated with respect and greeted with hospitality in the form of mary jane. What better way to end a long flight (laughs). We had approximately a 2 hour drive to the city of Montreux. We've never been to this city before.  We were staying in the Old City of Montreux. It looks like something out of a fable. The architecture was stunning. I can hear Cynicals voice in my head, urging me to absorb as much as possible and take advantage of my experiences. I began to film whatever I could. On the last trip I managed to leave my converter for my camera so I was unable to transfer footage and I had to minimize what I was able to capture. Needless to say I missed a lot of amazing sights.

I was determined to document this trip. I thought it would be cool to keep a journal of our experience as things happened in real time. Right now we are on a train headed to Winterthur. We have an early performance tonight. This is day three and the third show and all is going well. I must admit its awkward performing without our usual deejay Logic, I miss his element. We have this guy from Berlin filling in who's pretty good. His name is Figub or Mario. It took me two days to learn how to say his name. He is cool though. He hung out with Tek and I after the show last night.

IMG_6143.jpg

After our concert we got the word that Young Guru was spinning in the same town. We thought is was only right to stop by and kick it with him and just vibe out to some New York tunes. He got busy on the turntables as usual. Tek and I went with the Figub and a few guys we met at our show while Buck stayed back at the hotel. 

I have to point out that we had been drinking Hennessy at our event and when we arrived at the following event we were downing Vodka and Red Bull mixtures. Figub had a tough time getting up the next morning but at least we didn’t miss our train. The show in Montreux went well and the venue in Meyrin was pretty dope as well. The club was pretty sexy, it was designed sort of like a pit and there was a huge screen on the side wall. There where three guys operating cameras streaming to the screen. Normally this is only done at large festivals so it was a nice addition. 

The promoters for both shows were very cool. They took care of the business and kept us updated on all current movements. We had very little to be concerned about and we were able to concentrate on the task at hand. 

Even the food was pleasant. At least Tek and I enjoyed our first dinner in Montreux. Buck on the other hand had to adjust his order. He initially ordered the crab and the seafood pasta. The crab was this monstrousscavenger which I immediately knew was going to be a problem. Buck is a particular eater some may even say picky. At the time he was outside taking in the sights. I said to Tek,” wait till Buck sees this crab.” I had to get his reaction on camera.

When Buck entered the restaurant his eyes focused on this creature which was to be his food and he made the exact response I had predicted. He took one look at this odd looking delicacy and uttered confusingly, “what the …..” Tek and I immediately started to laugh. We have had many experiences with Buck and his choice of food so we were prepared to be entertained.

Tek and I both ordered the seafood salad which was awesome . It came with small clams, mussels, shrimp and squid. I also had a tomato cream soup which was amazing. Buck was having minor issues. He totally was not going to eat the crab and his seafood pasta had the same seafood we had in our salad. Buck was not a fan of the assorted seafood so he chose to take out everything except the shrimp. The waitress was trying to persuade him to try the crab but was unsuccessful. Tek and I actually tried it and it was pretty good and very fresh maybe a little too fresh for Bucks’ taste (laughs)

After dinner we went to see some of the sights. The Old City of Montreux is beautiful. It is a mix of old chateau homes blended with some modern architecture. Our escort stated that we were in a very culturally rich part of the city. We actually went to visit an old castle at a place called Chateau De Chillon. I took a few pics then we went back to the hotel. Normally we don’t get to see the sights when we travel due mostly to time restraints but this trip would be different. I planned on taking advantage of whatever free time was available and I was determined tho document this trip.

The hotel in Montreux was the Tralala. It was a famous hotel frequented by many musicians. Montreux hosts an annual jazz festival in the summer. The hotels decor reflected the soul of the establishment. There werepictures of famous musicians on every wall. There was a huge photo of the late great BB King right behind reception. When we arrived they made us complimentary tea making us feel at home immediately. The rooms were more modern. It was designed like these new micro rooms. Everything was small and quaint which was cool because we all had our own space. 

It worked for what we needed and the vibe was cool. I had this enormous picture of this singer performing live at a concert staring at me from the wall adjacent to my bed. It was a little weird but it was cool it didn't trip me out too much. The entire design was small and then you have this oversized photo of this guy singing to you right in front of your bed, freaky (laughs).

Needless to say I enjoyed my stay there. In the city of Meyrin it was slightly different. We stayed by the airport so we were a bit secluded. The hotel was the Nash Airport Hotel. The design was also small but it was comfortable. I slept like a baby. The food was on point too. In the early part of the day I had grilled salmon and in the evening after the show, we all had baked chicken and rice.

On the drive from Montreux to Meyrin we took a slight detour to enjoy some of the magnificent scenery. Our escort took us to this cliff overlooking a huge vineyard and a few cottages. It also overlooked a body of water that stretched to an island of mountains. The view was breathtaking. We began to joke about how miniature we are in the global spectrum. We also wondered what kind of species could be living atop those mountains. Would we finally get to see the Yeti (laughs)

We had a blast. So here we are now at day three riding the train for 3 1/2 hours. The scenery is tranquil. It provides a perfect reading or writing atmosphere plus we didn’t have to go thru security or board a plane with all this heavy luggage. It's a change in the norm but I welcome this break in monotony. Planes, trains and automobiles.

We have approximately an hour left so I am going to film some the sights and then maybe read some pages of the 48 Laws of Power. Stay tuned for more to come. 

 

General Steele

In Memory of Sean P!

By D. Yates aka General Steele

8/16/15    

On Saturday the 8th of August 2015 I got news that a good friend of mine had died. The devastating news came directly from his wife. I had just woke up not to long before that but we immediately got dressed and went to his home. 

We were in disbelief, shock, fear and a host of other emotions. When we arrived the police were sitting outside his door and a few very close family members and friends were gathered inside. The grief started to suffocate me as I walked into his apartment straight to his wife who was obviously distraught. All I could do was hug her as tight as I could and tell her I love her.

Normally people say things like “are you alright” or “its gonna be alright” or “be strong”. How can one know its gonna be alright? How could you not know how it feels to lose someone that is extremely close to you be it friend, family or soulmate. How can one be strong in this grievous time?

I was at a loss for words as more people who received the news began to file into the apartment. Not one person could hold back their tears, sobs even screams. No one wanted this to be true. Unfortunately we all had to face this gruesome fact that our beloved friend and brother (Sean Price) was dead.

Its hard for me to even write his name in that context. 

I can’t believe Im not going to see my friend anymore. We are not going to be joking on each other or offering each other life advice or debating different opinions. We will not be able to go on tours across the globe to perform together at sold out shows. I won’t get to hear him rock the crowd or chant his famous chant, “When I say Sean, y’all say P….SEAN P! SEAN P!” as the crowd files in line to participate in full cadence. I won’t get to see his wild antics or get to hear him make up those wild anecdotes and crazy phrases. DAMN! I can’t believe it.

It hasn’t fully sunk in. The first few days were crazy. The family and friends immediately went to work to take care of any arrangements that had to be made. Seans’ wife was exceptionally strong under the circumstances. People had to comfort each other because everyone was distraught. This would be no easy task. 

There were many people who loved Sean and this scenario was devastatingto imagine let alone witness in real time. I have to give credit to a list of people who went into action immediately. I won’t name any names but there were a quite a few. This unity made it a little easier to bear the weight of responsibility of what lies ahead. 

The love that people have for our brother Sean Price emits a powerful energy that holds us all together. I felt God had made a choice and no matter how unfair it seemed to us all, this was the only way to make sense of what didn’t make sense at all. 

Sean had converted to Islam so he had to be washed properly by his brothers. I had the honor to participate in this sacred body washing ceremony or Ghusl along with Buckshot, Tek, Hemdi, Unicron and the Imam.

He was then taken to the Masjid where they prayed over his body.

PREPARATION OF THE DECEASED AND JANAZAH PRAYERS

We later took Sean to the funeral home where he could be viewed by extensive family and friends. There was not a dry face in the area but there was loved ones everywhere. People who I haven’t seen in 5, 10 even 20 years. Many rap artist and producers came out to show respect many whom have worked with Sean directly. 

There was a sea of purple everywhere as this is the color that the Decepticons adorn. To see the Decept family, brought a familiar strength through the bond that we shared. You also had a sea of Ralph Lauren gear as this is the Flag that the LoLifes adorn. Many of these brothers are from Brownsville Brooklyn where Sean was raised, so their camaraderie goes way back. In the 80’s Decepts and LoLifes were rivalries so this union showed how powerful an impact Sean Price made on us all. 

There were also several members of Seans’ family who drove up from down south. Although it was the ultimate sad occasion It had to be proud for them to witness how many people Sean affected and not just through his incredible rap skills but through people who grew up with him in many different stages of his short life.

After the service many of us went to Kingston Ave where the graffiti artist MeresOne (5Pointz) was doing a mural in memory of Sean. It is was very sad and exhilaratingat the same time. I cried as MeresOnes’  painting solidified that my brother was really gone in the physical form but I was comforted by the reality that he lives on through his family his friendshis accomplishments and the many unfamiliar faces who came out to stand in the hot sun until the mural was complete. 

The following day was the funeral. This was it. This is final. Im not ready for this but I have no choice. We attended a small service at the funeral home then we proceeded to the cemetery. This was extremely tough for people as everyone was asked to take a shovel and put dirt into the grave 3 times. Many people were not familiar with thisprocess and were noticeably disturbed as they committed to the reality that was now severely obvious. Others couldn’t bring themselves to do it because they viewed it as “throwing dirt on thy brother”.

The burial ceremony was also highlighted by the Islamic prayer that was given by Buckshot which he did completely in Arabic. It was mind blowing for many to witness because they didn’t know Buck could speak fluent Arabic. Even friends and family alike that knew this fact was in awe. Buckshot and Tek were in full Islamic garb (Jalabiya)  in honor of the faith and our brother Sean. In the Islamic faith it is important to give all muslims the proper burial ceremony and these brothers did a great job.

The entire ceremony had to be done immediately according to the Islamic faith. 

It's now nine days later and I am still in a bit of denial. I had to unplug from social media. My twitter was crazy and people were posting thousands of images on Instagram and Facebook. Artist were painting murals in honor of Sean Price all across the globe in places like Italy, Germany and Australia just to name a few. I was in denial and I didn’t want to reply to texts, tweets or even phone calls. I wasn’t prepared to do any interviews, go on live radio or answer any questions regarding this issue. I didn’t want to hear any rap music talk about anything rap related and I definitely wasn’t ready to perform at any shows. It was too much for me so I decided to write this hoping to possibly bring closure to a major chapter in this Book of Life.

As the saga continues I strive everyday to keep going. The death of Sean has brought many of us closer and it also made many of us evaluate our health and our lifestyles. One friend came to me after the viewing with tears in his eyes he wanted to ask me a favor. He said “Steele no disrespect but I need you to stop drinking”. “I love you and I can’t do another one of these …”

Tears rolled down my face I hugged my friend and I said “No disrespect at all, I appreciate you for that. I love you brother. Thank You”.

As artist we live crazy lifestyles day to day. I pray Allah (Swt) gives me the strength to change the things I can and to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. 

I plan on making some changes in my life Inshallah starting NOW one day at a time.

Maybe this energy will affect us all in a way where we start to value every second of our God given life.

God Bless you. God Bless us ALL.

Yo SEAN P I LOVE YOU SLUM! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!